You’re human, and that means at some point in your life, you’ve been wronged. Whatever the situation, you were faced with two choices: To hold a grudge, or to choose to forgive.

It’s easier said than done, of course. If the offense was unintentional, like your sister borrowing and then losing your favorite necklace, you probably let her off the hook fairly quickly. Offenses that take a little longer to overcome might include overhearing some friends spreading hurtful gossip about you or a co-worker sabotaging your efforts on an important project. And if you endured a devastating transgression—like unfaithfulness in a marriage or a serious family betrayal—forgiveness may seem a long, long way off, if not an impossibility…especially if the offender isn’t seeking it.

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